Beautician Zardin/Stories

General Stories Misc

Quotes

On Sortied

Leave your looks to me.

On Entering a Room

Zardin the beautiful is here to aid you!

When Quest Begins

Let us pursue perfection together.

Are you perfectly made up and ready to go?

Response to Beginning of a Quest

Indeed, I shall sally forth in all my loveliness!

Leave this to me! ...As well as all your skin-care needs.

When Controlling Character in Quest

Let us become beautiful together!

When Receiving a Heal

Well, SOMEONE knows their stuff.

There's that luster back...

When Entering a Boss' Room

An enemy of beauty deserves no mercy.

And now we take the final step toward true beauty!

Response to Entering a Boss' Room

Yes—a moment of silence for the fashion illiterate...

Indeed. This will make my beautification complete.

Upon Getting to Low Health

I'm in a bit of a tough spot, but it's all part of my process!

I'm not done making the world elegant!

Upon Opening a Chest

I have a PERFECT outfit for this!

Any cosmetics in there?

Boss on Low Health

Our foe's skin is dry and dull!

Do not permit something this horrid to exist any longer!

Boss Enters Break State

Oh ho! They're at my mercy now!

Now, let us deliver beauty in death!

Rare Enemy Spawns

Such a rare foe... I must have it!

I suppose SOME fiends can be pretty...

Upon Death

Look forward...to...my next production... Urk!

How can someone so lovely meet such an UN-lovely end?

Upon Revival

There's still work to be done!

When Using Weapon/Shared Skills

Damage: Feast your eyes!

Buff Self: I shall bring out my own beauty!

Buff Ally: I'll make you look STUNNING!

Debuff Enemy: Impressive, no?

Heal Ally: Let's make that skin glow.

Heal Self: My skin is positively luminous!

Player Uses Damaging Skill

You cut a perfect figure!

Your technique is simply radiant!

When Shape Shifting is Ready

The dragon wishes to be beautiful as well!

The dragon is ready for battle, AND for beauty!

Shape Shifting into Dragon

The dragon is ready for it's close-up!

Idle During Quest

Ah, but it is difficult being popular...

Hmm. I wonder if I should open a hairstyling salon next...?

Quest Clear

I've beautified our way to victory! Simply gorgeous!

Quest Failure

Hmm... We need to change our approach.

Home Screen Walking

I'll make you a star yet!

Are you remembering to do your facial exercises?

Don't forget to remove your makeup at night!

I've an idea for a new cosmetic product...

I feel the tingle of beauty lying in wait!

Hmm... My next client should be...

Home Screen Inside

My floral fortune-telling confirms that I am, in fact, the most gorgeous man alive. *sigh*

Is this outfit not lovely? The way it balances out my boots is a work of art!

My beauty cannot be dimmed by mere trifles like "oversleeping".

I'm writing a one-man show about my looks. It's called "Long Day's Journey Into Zardin!"

Are you familiar with the musclebound faerie in the woods? Ah, what a wonderful sight...

The latest trends in beauty are fascinating indeed....

Home Screen Portrait

This is the garb of a true beautician!

These cosmetics provide an exceptional finish to any look!

My mirror is telling me I'm getting more lovely each day.

Bear witness as I attain the height of beauty!

I shall become eternally beautiful!

Collection Portrait

If only I could use my Ultra Zardin Cosmetics!

Are you keeping up with your beauty training? Let us review the specifics together.

This outfit matches the Zardin ratio! Otherwise known as the golden ratio.

I am Zardin, the world's foremost beautician! Remember it.

Trick or treat! This year, I'm going as myself. Again.

At The Halidom

Would you assist me in gathering materials for some cosmetics?

Bwargh?! How dare you interrupt me in the middle of my skin-care regimen!

Come for a beauty lesson, have you? I hope you have an appoooointmeeeent!

New Mana Circle Unlocked

A look like mine knows no bounds!

Mana Circle Fully Unbound

I can feel it, my potential for infinite beauty!

Adventurer Story Episodes

Episode 1

Beautiful Synergy

The time has finally come for the 313th "Most Beautiful Me" contest! Up first is...me! And next, we have...me in a mirror! But which is the fairest? Who is the TRUE paragon of beauty? Hm? It's a draw, you say? Ha ha! Marvelous!

Hopeless Narcissist - Zardin

Man... I dunno how you can do that 313 times an' not get tired of it. What inspired the change of attire, Zardin? Ah, but the man before you is not the Zardin you once knew. Nay, he is now a beautician! "Bootician"...? Like a shoe doctor or somethin'? BEAUtician, my good fellow. 'Tis a most elegant profession, tasked with bringing out the beauty sealed in every soul. Naturally I have already ascended to the highest heights of beauty—but with this new charge, I shall climb even higher! Now, let's get started! ...I am afraid you've lost me. Likewise. You have only explained what a beautician DOES, and even that was somewhat murky. How exactly do you think making others more beautiful will elevate yourself? It's all in the synergy, my dear! ...Huh? My beauty is already perfection itself. The question of whether I can grow even more beautiful enters a hitherto unknown realm of knowledge. I ruminated so extensively on how to transcend my current limits, I perfected a beautiful contemplative visage in the process. And then, I was struck by an epiphany! I must make others more comely! Thus would their beauty amplify my own, making me more handsome still. I don't think I follow. 'Tis but a theory, of course, but is that not how all facts are born? No doubt others have tried and failed spectacularly, but none were as beautiful as I. So come! Let us ascend together to new plains of beauty! W-wait, where are you taking us?! Single file, please...

Perfect. Let us begin! Uh... What do we do now? We shall start with the basics. Here, rub this gel on your faces. Massage it in small circles—excellent. Gently does it. Oh! It's cold, but also quite refreshing. All finished? Lovely. Now come the exercises! When I call out an expression, you must produce it as beautifully as possible! First: a smile! L-like this? Splendid. Now, look troubled! That ain't hard, in a situation like this... Not bad, not bad. Finally, give me your portrait face! This is the expression I made when the portrait artist came to the castle... What do you think? YES! Marvelous! Now rotate through all three, one per second, a hundred times! We are not a comedy troupe! I refuse. Hmph. Very well. On to the next activity, so! More gel for everyone. Make sure you rub it in well! My face feels like someone sneezed all over it... Massage it in deep, and visualize yourself beautified! Ruuuuuub rub rub! This... Aha ha! ...Tickles. As it should. Now, repeat the same process ten thousand times! PARDON?! Beauty does not come easy. But with diligence and determination, you may one day shine slightly dimmer than myself. The steps you just practiced are all part of my daily beauty routine. Simple, no? Anything BUT! Goodness, such an angry look does no favors for your complexion. My patience is at its end, Zardin. This routine may work for you, but it is naught but wasted time for the rest of us. Yes, and I have to think using this much gel is a waste of money, too. How's this bringin' out our inner beauty, anyhow? All yer doin' is makin' my face hurt. Didja even think this through? I... Guys, I think that might've been a bit harsh... Such BEAUTY! Huh? I have somehow grown even MORE beautiful in realizing my mistakes! Yes, I can see the road before me now... I shall perfect my skills as a beautician, and aid all who heed my call! ...Is this guy even safe to have around? With this outfit and my unmatched resolve, I can unlock ANYONE'S true beauty! I must get to work. Farewell, my students! Ah, and do remember to wash away the gel when you're finished. Ta ta! His ego is...wow. In any case, let's wash this gel off. I wonder if he really will become the beautician he aspires to be...

Episode 2

An Illuminating Invention

Zardin traveled the continent, offering his skills as a beautician to all he met. After much effort... At long last, I have everything I need for my new line of cosmetics! Gel alone cannot to bring out the beauty in others. I require makeup as well! Ah, but it was far from easy. I collected rare medicinal herbs from a mighty and manly fairy... And there was the dragon I brought to tears with my lectures on beauty... Oh, and I jumped off a waterfall— WITHOUT a harness—just to collect some rare scales. Had I been less beautiful, I surely would have perished. But I have reveled in my triumph long enough. I must finish my new line of cosmetics! ...Now, it is time for me to reveal the fruits of my labors to the world! Whoa! Hey Zardin. I haven't seen you in a while. Indeed! I was busy perfecting my Ultra Zardin Cosmetics—which I shall reveal here today! A makeup line? How surprisingly orthodox of you. Save your surprise; you are about to witness my beautiful mastery at work. Behold! What the—how's he movin' so fast?! His hands are blurs! First, I gently apply foundation blended with dragon tears. Then comes a layer of vividly-colored makeup... And finally, it's all covered in a rainbow-scale compound. Add a light spritz, and—voila! My ultimate creation! ULTRA... ZARDIN... MAKE...UP! Wh-where is this light coming from?! I can't see a thing! Well? Am I not simply stunning? My... My EYES! It's too much, Zardin! Take it off! What?! You would have me reduce my own beauty, after all I endured to achieve it?! Yes! NOW! My vision's coming back... Hey, Zardin. So, what did you think? As you, er, saw, even a modest application can make one so beautiful they actually emit light. They...What? They can make a person so beautiful they actually emit light. From their face. I think he's finally lost it. Well, whatever happened, it was crippling; we can't have you going around blinding everyone. Indeed. It would be especially troublesome in combat. Hm. It would certainly make life harder for everyone. Could you maybe adjust the recipe to make those cosmetics slightly less...effective? Of course. But to do so would be self-sabotage! I would be casting myself further from my goal of achieving ultimate beauty. Man, forget about that! Listen. Yer tryin' to make everyone beautiful, yeah? Quite right. I have no intention of holding a monopoly on such a basic human right. Then pull back on the shininess. Nobody'll be able to appreciate yer work if they can't see, ya know?

With a new variety of cosmetics completed, Zardin organizes a public demonstration. What say you, my lady? Is your beauty not flawless? Oh... Goodness, I hardly recognize myself! I'll be back to see you soon, Mr. Zardin! People seem to like your new cosmetics. Indeed they do, Euden! And I grow ever more beautiful as a result. Though it pains me not to be able to use my Ultra Zardin Cosmetics... I think you've struck a nice balance with these regular-strength "Zardin Cosmetics." It's not bad, but my beauty grows more slowly for having lowered its potency. Must I truly forsake the Ultra version? Yes. In fact, you should lock them away. Am I not doing my customers a disservice, denying them such radiance? They would do more harm than good, Zardin. Ugh... Why don't you all understand?! I simply wish to be more beautiful! What other option do we have? Only you can use the Ultra variant, after all. (Huh? Is that true?) (Shhh. I'm trying to resolve this for good.) Your Ultra Zardin Cosmetics are simply too powerful. Anyone who isn't exceptionally beautiful to begin with would only end up damaging their skin. So we must lock them away. Only you should use them, and ONLY when absolutely necessary. You're... You're right! In that case, we have no other course of action! All this time, it was only I who had the proper potential... My beauty truly is limitless! I owe you a great debt, Cleo. Say the word, and I shall coax out all the beauty that sleeps within you! You really shouldn't hide your ears... Phew... That should save us all a good deal of trouble. I don't know, a light that bright might make for a decent party trick! Ha ha!

Episode 3

Drop Dead Gorgeous

The group set off in search of materials for Zardin's cosmetics. But when they arrived at their destination, they found fiends waiting. Raaaagh! I wish we'd known this was a fiends' nest before we got here! Live and learn, boss. Let's just take 'em out! Let us finish this before my fringe becomes disheveled. Ah, I see I am as beautiful in the mirror today as ever. Hiyah! EEEEEEEK! ...Oof. Hm? What was that ugly sound? It came from the fiend, no? ...Hey! This fiend seems to have fainted! Hey, yer right! It wasn't a fatal wound, but it's out cold. The heck happened? What does it matter? My FRINGE, Ranzal. Let us finish this at once! Hiyah! EEEEEEEK! ...Oof. Another one fainted? Hmm... Are you using some sort of new technique, Zardin? It's business as usual on my end. All I've done differently is spend a touch more time on my makeup. Wait, it couldn't be... Let me try something. Raaaagh! That looks like their leader! We can talk later, let's— *poke* EEEEEEEK! ...Oof. What?! Even the BOSS fainted?! The hell's goin' on here? Ha ha! There is a simple solution, friends. The answer is the same as it is with all things: beauty. I am simply too beautiful! ...You're serious? I surmise that my beauty is robbing these fiends of their very consciousness. As you saw, I merely gave their leader a tender tap, and he fell belly up. I mean, yeah, we all saw that, but... No way, that's bullplop! Maybe beauty is more powerful than I thought... Don't go buyin' into his nonsense, Euden! It's no surprise one as beautiful as yourself can see the truth. My, what a joyous discovery! There truly is no end to what I can achieve with my beauty! In fact, I wager I've barely scratched the surface. I shall continue bringing out the beauty in others, that I might discover even more of my potential! Oh, how I long to witness my future glory! Man, once he gets goin'... Ah, but what if I should become TOO beautiful? What dangers might I incur? For example... What if the entire continent—and even nature itself—became so jealous of my beauty that it ceased all function to chase it... ...leading to the collapse of civilization, and the world becoming a frozen, uninhabitable wasteland! That sounds terrible... But on the other hand, I might become so beautiful I can perform miracles... Like mending an entire village in a single night! Come on, now you're just bein' silly. Somethin' like that'd even stun the Goddess herself! Perhaps my beauty could cause changes in those around me as well... Suddenly, even nearby fiends might become beautiful! That would be pretty great. Cleo and Elisanne would be overjoyed. Not you too, prince... Ideas abound! The potential of my beauty is truly staggering. Just imagining my own fairness is enough to stop my heart! Maybe I'M the crazy one...? I feel your belief. Look—my face has grown eighty percent more beautiful in response! Now that I better understand my potential, I must set to work on increasing my beauty still! Come, let us gather these herbs and return to the castle posthaste! There is much to do! Come, mirror... Oh, but you are SO beautiful! Hey, wait up! We don't even know which herbs we're lookin' for! Yeesh... Guy's away with the faeries. Ha ha, nothing wrong with that. By the way... Hm? What's up, boss? Do you really think he could make fiends cuter? Are you—come ON, dude! How gullible can ya be?! Although... If he DOES manage to pull that off, he'd be pretty special. ...I'm kinda curious now...

Episode 4

Give It a Rest

You are here for Zardin's beauty course, yes? Join the line, please. That is already twenty people; shall I tell any new arrivals that you're booked for the day? Never! I shant turn away any who seek my help. Bringing out their beauty will only magnify my own, after all. Very well. But do try to take some time to rest. Beauty sleep, and all that. Pish posh. My beauty is resilient. Now, I must get back to work! He hasn't stopped in days. It's bound to catch up with him. I hope he knows what he's doing... Eeeek! Heeeelp! What's going on?! It's Mr. Zardin—he's collapsed! What?! Take me to him!

...Hmm? Where am I? We are in your room; welcome back. My room? But what about my patrons?! We explained the situation and asked they return home. You are no help to anyone unconscious. You should thank Cleo. She's been watchin' over ya this whole time. Ya know, fer a guy who loves his mirror, ya really shoulda seen this comin'. Yer makeup might be the best around, but it can't hide yer exhaustion. Psh. As if I, the avatar of perfection, could ever fall victim to such things. I suppose looking pale as a corpse is the latest trend? ...You're right. Looking closer, I see I've grown weak. I still look beautiful, mind you—but I appreciate your concern. Will you take some time off now? I suppose there's little choice. I have a question for you, Zardin. Oh? What is it? What is beauty to you? What makes you so devoted to it, at the expense of everything else? I told you about my past once before, did I not? My stunning visage is a gift from my mother, and in realizing that I regained the will to live. Right, I remember. Seeing my mother's face in my own makes me feel as if our memories together live on, and that beauty gives me strength. For that reason, I strive to become more and more beautiful. Since starting work as a beautician, however, my thoughts have shifted slightly. Staring at my own beauty is no longer my sole source of pleasure; the act of becoming more beautiful is enjoyable as well. My potential lies in my beauty, and ultimately it is my very reason for living. Well, that certainly explains your devotion. If it's yer whole reason for living, there's no point in workin' so hard ya can't do it no more! Ranzal is right. You need to pace yourself. Take your rest, and come back stronger; then you can show us all that potential you speak of. We believe in you, Zardin. You do...? Heh. All right. I shall take my time and recover fully. Even in light of this failure, I can feel myself growing more beautiful. Once I'm back in peak condition, I imagine my beauty will follow suit. The only way to know for sure is to rest. A few days should be plenty. Yes, yes, very well. For the sake of my long-term beauty, I shall heed your advice. Once I am recovered, you shall witness a beauty the world has yet to behold! That shall be my gift to you for your aid in this troubling time.

Episode 5

Ultimate Ascension

La la laaa! I'm baaaaack! Let the beautification begin! It is time make everyone more beautiful—including myself! Excuse me, sir... Are you the miracle man? Ha ha, I suppose my beauty IS miraculous! Finally... I've heard so much about you. It's him, dear! We've found the miracle man! Ah, wonderful. We have a favor to ask, young man. You wish to be beautified, I take it? Certainly! Er...no. Could you defeat the fiend that's living near our home? It's quite unruly. Pardon me—did you say a fiend? Hm. Very well! It wouldn't be beautiful to turn away two people in need. Lead the way!

Raaaaaagh! Ugh! Strong AND repulsive! And just look at my poor fringe... Forget yer mirror! This fiend's not pullin' any punches! Eeeek! He's coming this way! Blast! Hold on, we'll be right—aaaugh! Its attacks are splitting the ground! Is everyone okay?! I-I think so... Wait, look at Zardin! Oh no, he's on the other side of the fissure—and so is the fiend! Grrrrr! Cower in the face of my beauty, foul beast! Hah! Raaaaagh! What?! It didn't faint?! Hmph. It seems I'll have to take a more traditional approach. ...Wait, where has my weapon gone? Goodness, I might be in a spot of trouble... Raaaaaaaaaaarrrgh! Is my beauty truly ineffective...? And with my weapon lost, and my allies out of reach...this is quite the pickle. Have I finally discovered the limits of my potential? Graaaaahh! ...No! One option still remains. Though I sealed it away many moons ago, I continued to refine it in secret... It's time for the Ultra Zardin Double-Strength Deluxe! Will I fall before this brute, or will my beauty win the day? Let's find out! Whoa—who turned up the sun?! Could it be...? Are we witnessing the Goddess's glorious descent? This is no miracle... It's Zardin! We believe in you, Zardin! My beauty is supreme! Enduring! Eternal! May all the radiance I have sown as a beautician come together in this moment! Ultra! Zardin! FLAAAAAASH! Graaaah... UGRAAAAAGH! ...Did he do it? Ha ha, but of course! What was that light, Zardin? Did the Goddess grant you a miracle? Nay, 'twas the work of man—the product of all my experience as a beautician. After applying my finest cosmetic creation, my beauty surpassed known limits and my face began to radiate light. You mean like the sun or somethin'? I suppose a heavenly body is an apt comparison to my luminescence— though I am still more beautiful. Huh. Well, I give up. Glad yer okay and all, but yer not makin' a lick'a sense. Such a beautiful light... He really IS a man of miracles! Yes, that nasty fiend didn't stand a chance. Ha ha! As you just witnessed, there is nothing my beauty cannot achieve! Come to me again, should you ever find yourselves in need. Ah, by the way, Euden... Hm? What is it? I've actually produced a cosmetic even more potent than what I used today. Shall I show you? It is TRULY spectacular. I-I think I'll pass, thanks. Oh? Come now, it's DAZZLING! Allow me to demonstrate... Wait, you idiot, don't— ULTRA... ZARDIN... MAKE...UP! Zardin's body was engulfed in a brilliant light— and stayed that way for the next three days. He had beautified himself, his comrades, and ultimately the entire Halidom. Truly, his beauty was unrivaled.