Ranzal/Stories
Quotes
Adventurer Story Episodes
Village Savior
Ranzal: Bit early to be turnin' in, but we can at least find a warm bed and a meal in the village tonight.
Ranzal: Heh. This place sure brings back memories.
Villager A: Hmm, can it be? ...It is!
Villager A: Everyone, Ranzal's back!
Villager B: Welcome back, Ranzal!
Ranzal: Well, lookie here! You guys seem hale and hearty.
Ranzal: You were just a kid when I saw ya last. ...And Gramps! Glad yer still on the right side of the ground.
Elisanne: Er, what's going on here?
Euden: You've been here before, Ranzal?
Villager B: Ranzal is the savior of our village, he is!
Euden: Truly?
Villager B: A few winters past, fiends settled nearby and began attacking our village.
Villager B: We petitioned our lord to send aid, but we're just a village in the middle of nowhere, so...
Ranzal: So us mercenaries stepped in!
Villager B: The reward was but a modest one, but Ranzal still took the job and put those fell beasts to the sword.
Ranzal: Yeah, but you guys gave me more'n enough grub to make it worth my while.
Villager B: If our previous meager offerings pleased you, Ranzal, you're welcome to that and more tonight!
Villager B: Please, you must make yourselves at home! You and all your friends are honored guests tonight!
Ranzal: Don't mind if I do!
Ranzal: Look happy, Euden! Chow's on me tonight!
Euden: So this is what you were doing all these years, Ranzal?
Euden: I'd pictured mercenaries as living on the battlefield, always stuck in the middle of some war or another.
Ranzal: Yeah, most folks think that. But wars ain't ragin' all the time.
Ranzal: Fiends, though? They're ALWAYS around.
Ranzal: So when a merc like me needs to put food on the table, hunting a big, ugly fiend's the next best thing.
Elisanne: How shameful that it must be so. Protecting the people is meant to be the duty of lords and knights.
Elisanne: Why did they do nothing in these people's hour of need?
Ranzal: 'Cause knights ain't cheap.
Ranzal: And what little tax money this village can scrape up don't make it worth the bother.
Euden: But that's...
Ranzal: Don't gimme that look, Euden. I ain't blamin' ya.
Ranzal: Royalty and nobles gotta look at the big picture. I know that.
Ranzal: But that means regular folk end up fallin' through the cracks.
Ranzal: If ya don't like it... Well, you'll just have to become powerful enough to help 'em out.
Euden: ...I see.
Ranzal: Anyway, lords being slow to act ain't new, so don't go worryin' yer pretty head about it.
Ranzal: Besides, when monsters show up, us mercenaries will be there to stick a sword in 'em!
Villager C: Three cheers for Ranzal!
Ranzal: Bwaaa ha ha! How about it, greenhorns? Got a bit more respect for me now?
Elisanne: I'm honestly surprised.
Elisanne: I'd thought mercenaries would just be ruffians selling to the highest bidder, but you have a sense of morality.
Collecting Intel
[Setting: Pub]
Customer: To His Highness!
Euden: Er, Yes. Thank you, everyone.
[Elisanne enters]
Elisanne: THERE you are!
Elisanne: Your Highness, whatever are you doing with Ranzal in a place like...like THIS?
Euden: He, um...said he was going to show me how to have a good
time.
Elisanne: ...How to have a good time?
Customer: Thanks for paying for all this, Your Highness!
Customer: You're a swell guy, Your Highness!
Elisanne: Wait. So all of this food was...
Elisanne: Ranzal? We need to talk.
Ranzal: Bwaaa ha ha ha! C'mon Elly! This ain't no big deal.
Elisanne: Your downtime is your business, but we do NOT need you being a bad influence on His Highness.
Ranzal: Downtime? This is work!
Euden: Huh? I thought you said this was all about having fun.
Ranzal: *cough* Yeah, well, sometimes work IS fun.
Ranzal: Sittin' around the table with pals like this is how ya pick up valuable intel about what's goin' on in town.
Euden: I...suppose that makes sense?
Ranzal: It's the same for nobles. I mean, all them fancy shindigs with tiny food are a kind of work, yeah?
Ranzal: Well, what we're doin' is basically the same thing. Right, guys?
Customer: Oh, for sure! Social gatherings are important in all walks of life. You can tell the prince gets that.
Elisanne: I'm not falling for that! This is all clearly a hastily constructed lie!
Elisanne: You're just here to have fun, and you know it!
Ranzal: Damn. Ain't I earned more trust than that?
Ranzal: At least get someone else's opinion before ya call me a liar. Maybe ask that stuffed toy yer always talkin' to.
Elisanne: Ack! Wh-where did you...?
Ranzal: Hey, I ain't judgin'. Everybody needs someone they can talk to about this and that, yeah?
Ranzal: Like, maybe someone who listens to ya talk about love every single nigh——
Elisanne: Enough! I withdraw all objections! Just please stop talking!
Elisanne: ...Wait. How DO you know all this? Has one of you been spying on me?
Customer: Hum de dummm...
Elisanne: You're not singing your way out of this!
Ranzal: See? Ya never know when some piece of overheard info is gonna come in handy.
Ranzal: Now you know how us mercenaries really operate.
Elisanne: Rrrrr...
Ranzal: See, Euden? Gotta make allies and put ears to the ground if ya wanna keep drawin' breath.
Ranzal: That's how it works outside the palace, my friend.
Euden: I see...
The Life of a Mercenary
[Setting: Village at Night]
Euden: This has been a fun day. *yawn* But I'm so tired.
Euden: My eyes feel like they're going to close any minute...
Ranzal: Hey now! Save that crap till we get back.
Ranzal: Though I suppose I might'a pushed us a bit hard. We been wanderin' from shop to shop for ages.
Ranzal: Ol' Elly's gonna be madder'n a wet hen when she sees how late we stumble in.
Ranzal: Strolling around downtown like this IS fun though, yeah?
Ranzal: The folks here are a good-natured lot.
Euden: Yes. It actually made me realize how little I know about the people I've been saying I wanted to protect all this time.
Euden: It would have stayed like that if you hadn't brought me here.
Ranzal: World's a big place. Way bigger than a kid like you could understand.
Ranzal: But to a merc like me, it's all just one big backyard.
Euden: Ha ha! Being a mercenary sounds like quite the life.
Euden: It must be fun to have freedom like that.
Ranzal: Ha!
Euden: Hmm? What is it?
Ranzal: Just that you'd never make the cut.
Ranzal: Being a merc ain't easy-and it ain't life for a fancy prince what grew up sleepin' on silken pillows.
Ranzal: Besides, you're gonna become a real man who can protect everyone, yeah?
Euden: I am. *yaaawn*
Ranzal: Damn, you must be even more tired than I thought.
Ranzal: C'mon, lean on my shoulder. I ain't gonna go lookin' if ya end up asleep in some hayloft somewhere.
Euden: Mmm... That's comfy...
Ranzal: See? Ya might be some high-and-mighty prince, but yer definitely a kid at heart.
Ranzal: And yet, you got the future of this whole country restin' on yer scrawny little shoulders...
Ranzal: I couldn't do it. My old man used to say,"If yer unhappy with the world, get into politics and change it."
Ranzal: I had no idea how much of a burden that was. The responsibility nobles have is too much for me.
Ranzal: Still, I bet ya can do what I couldn't.
Euden: Well, that came out of nowhere.
Ranzal: Ah, forget it. We're almost at the castle, and I gotta figure out how to sneak in before Elly busts us.
Ranzal: Here. Stand up straight.
Euden: Thanks, Ranzal. It's good to know that I can depend on you.
Euden: You almost feel like an older brother to me.
Ranzal: Eh, you got plenty of older brothers already, yeah?
Ranzal: Bit greedy tryin' to make me one.
Euden: Yes, that's true. But you're different from any of them.
Euden: You might not be family, but you're someone I can look up to and admire like a brother.
Ranzal: Admire? ME? Bwaaaa ha ha! Now THAT I can get behind!
A Stern Talking-To
[Setting: Castle]
Euden: All right.
Ranzal: ......
Elisanne: I hear you were out until the small hours yet again, Your Highness.
Elisanne: Now rumors swirl that this castle's prince is consorting with lowlifes and drunks every night.
Euden: Um...
Ranzal: That's all cause I've been draggin' Euden around. So if yer gonna blame anyone, blame me.
Elisanne: I am ABSOLUTELY blaming you!
Ranzal: Oh. Well...okay then.
Cleo: We can tell you're guilty without even having to ask, Ranzal.
Cleo: You're becoming a VERY bad role model.
Ranzal: Hey, I'm just teachin' him the ways of the world, is all! Sharin' my grizzled wisdom and whatnot.
Elisanne: Your concept of the "ways of the world" is precisely the problem!
Ranzal: Ooooh. I get what's goin' on here. Yer jealous Euden is always spendin' time with me!
Ranzal: Well, ain't that cute.
Elisanne: Wh-what did you just say?
Ranzal: Bet you're up all night worryin' about some saucy barmaid sinkin' her greedy claws into him.
Elisanne: Every time you open your mouth, horrid things emerge!
Ranzal: What's wrong with him having a bit of fun? Everyone should get to enjoy their youth, yeah?
Ranzal: Hell, nobles usually end up gettin' married off for their parents' political gain, anyway.
Ranzal: So who knows what the future has in store for Euden?
Elisanne: Sh-shut up! SHUT UP!
Cleo: *sigh* He knows JUST how to get under her skin.
Euden: Do you think Ranzal was a noble at some point?
Cleo: What gives you that idea?
Euden: He seems strangely knowledgeable about nobles. It definitely means SOMETHING to him.
Cleo: You really think that's possible?
Cleo: Are all human nobles like...that?
Euden: Not all of them, but...
Cleo: Regardless, I don't want any more late nights. If this happens again, Elly won't be the only angry one.
Leave It to Your Big-Bro!
[Setting: Forest]
Ranzal: Yeah, they got us surrounded. This ain't gonna be an easy one to get out of.
Ranzal: Listen, Euden. I'm gonna act as a decoy and get their attention.
Ranzal: So when I do, you beat outta here, yeah?
Euden: Ranzal, I'm not going to leave you behind to save my own skin!
Ranzal: Don't be an idiot! I'm a mercenary! This ain't my first time havin' to skip out of a battle.
Ranzal: 'Sides, I know plenty of ways to handle fiends like this——you'll just be in the way.
Euden: But...
Ranzal: Ya might laugh at me for this, but I wanna keep being like an older brother to ya.
Ranzal: Which means it's my job to put my life on the line and protect my little bro!
Ranzal: Don't worry about me. Soon as I've shaken 'em, I'll come find ya.
Ranzal: Just head back to the castle and wait!
Euden: Well...all right.
[Euden exits]
Ranzal: That's my man. ...Right then! Listen up, uglies! I'm the one ya want, so c'mere!
[Ranzal strikes down a fiend]
Ranzal: Take a bite or three outta me if ya want, but the prince is off the damn menu!
[Ranzal strikes down another fiend]
[Euden enters]
Euden: Whew! I finally caught up with you.
Ranzal: Euden?!
Ranzal: What're ya doing, idiot? I'm tryin' to save yer life here!
Ranzal: Get to the damn castle already!
Euden: I'm not going anywhere!
Ranzal: WHAT?!
Ranzal: Yer our leader! If somethin' happens to you, it affects all them people back at the castle!
Ranzal: If ya go down here, everything we've done is gonna be for nothin'!
Euden: All right, that's enough!
Euden: I said you were like a brother to me, right? Well, what kind of brother leaves his own to die?!
Ranzal: You're...serious.
Euden: Besides, you're the one who loves pointing out what a greenhorn I am.
Euden: Which means I still have a lot to learn from you.
Ranzal: Dammit! I just wanna be cool in front of my little bro, but ya won't let me!
Ranzal: But I guess yer right——I ain't just a rootless mercenary with nowhere to call home anymore.
Ranzal: If I end up dead in a ditch here, ain't gonna be no one left to look after all you greenhorns.
Ranzal: I can't let that happen!
Euden: No, you can't!
Fiend: Grrrrrr!
Ranzal: Looks like it's time to cut the chatter. These fiends ain't gonna wait.
Ranzal: Now let's show 'em how it's done! Right, bro?
Euden: Right!
[Scene fades to later]
Euden: *pant* We did it!
Ranzal: Yeah, but it was a close shave. Thought we were both gonna be monster chow for a second there.
Euden: But we both made it out alive, and that's what matters.
Ranzal: Ha! You might be the most reckless daredevil of a prince there ever was. It ain't easy lookin' after ya!
Ranzal: I couldn't be the person my old man hoped for, but would ya believe it? I found someone worth protectin'.
Ranzal: Honestly, I dunno if I'm cut out for this kinda responsibility...
Euden: What do you mean?
Ranzal: Eh, it's nothin'. But man, I feel great!