Alain/Stories
Quotes
Adventurer Story Episodes
On the Run
Euden: ...Hmm? Someone's running this way.
Alain: *pant* *pant* Ho there, friend! It's an honor to meet you. My name is Alain.
Alain: And while I realize we're literally meeting for the first time this very moment, I fear I must beg a boon of you.
Euden: What seems to be the problem?
Alain: As it turns out, I am currently in retreat from an overwhelming enemy force.
Euden: Hmm? I don't see any enemies.
Alain: Ah. Yes. That. Well, I've been retreating for half a day now, so perhaps I managed to shake them.
Euden: They must be a fearsome bunch if you've been running for as long as you say. Can you tell me what happened?
Alain: I was patrolling when I sensed three bandits in ambush. Realizing that, I immediately beat a hasty retreat.
Euden: I fear I'm confused. You sensed attacking bandits, but they didn't actually attack?
Alain: It's far too late to start preparing to flee if one has already been set upon by rogues!
Euden: But is it not also possible to lean too far in the other direction?
Euden: Hmm. Perhaps this is a discussion best saved for another time. Now, what was that favor you wanted?
Alain: Ah, yes! I hear you already count a number of formidable warriors among your ranks.
Alain: And yet you lack tacticians able to command an effective retreat when the odds are against you.
Euden: Hmm. I suppose that's true, now that you mention it.
Alain: Then it sounds as though there's a niche for me to fill!
Alain: I've commanded countless successful retreats to date.
Alain: So whenever you need to flee the battlefield, allow me to lead the way!
Euden: Well, we don't often find ourselves retreating, but you're welcome to join us regardless.
Alain: Then please give the order to retreat at once!
Euden: What, now?! Um... Well... Perhaps we should go and rest inside the castle, then.
Alain: Yes, sir! Retreating into the castle at once!
Captain Craven
Ranzal: It's a great day for some monster huntin'!
Ranzal: Let's get this show on the road, Euden!
Alain: Sir! After careful consideration of every option, I believe our only choice in the current situation is to retreat at once!
Euden: Very well. Ranzal, begin our retr— Wait, RETREAT?!
Ranzal: Hey, I know you. You're that Alain fella! The heck you doin' here, Captain Craven?
Alain: I would appreciate it if you did not use that horrid nickname in my presence, sir!
Alain: It is not cowardice that drives me to run— I merely believe in proposing the most appropriate strategy for every situation.
Euden: You know this man, Ranzal?
Ranzal: Guy used to be a military advisor in another kingdom.
Ranzal: Every advisor had a different role— his was securin' escape routes.
Alain: Correct. Organizing retreat may be a duty without glory, yet it is the most important role there is!
Alain: But my talents were lost on the others, who forgot I was part of the force at all. And so I retreated from advising entirely.
Euden: So you were relieved of your duties?
Alain: I remember well one particular occasion when I was given the task of leading the entire army myself.
Alain: But when I am entrusted with command of a military force, I always end up choosing to retreat—no matter how assured victory may seem at the time.
Euden: In that case, how does this sound?
Euden: We've no intention of retreating, but you can draw up a strategy just in case. Will that suffice?
Alain: It would be my greatest honor, sir!
Alain: However, I have already completed my preparations for retreating. We can run screaming into the night the moment you say the word!
Ranzal: This is like fightin' with yer back to the wall, 'cept the wall's in front of ya.
Alain: And once our retreat is complete, the army will be able to enjoy warm baths, delicious food, and entertainment from the finest jesters in all the land!
Euden: Warm baths and delicious food?!
Ranzal: Can we get massages, too?!
Euden: R-Ranzal?!
Ranzal: Huh? Oh, right. Sorry. ...But you were gettin' excited, too!
Euden: I fear I couldn't help myself...
Expecting the Worst
Alain: Yes... No... Yes... No... Yes... No...
Notte: Heeeey, it's Captain Craven! You using those flowers to see if you should ask out the love of your life?
Alain: I'll thank you to not call me by that name. And these flowers are my attempt to divine when the commander will give the retreat order.
Notte: The commander...? Wait, you mean Euden? Yeah, I wouldn't get your hopes up there. He's not really the retreating type.
Alain: You're likely correct. ...Though since you mentioned it, I suppose retreat IS much like love in a way.
Notte: You think so? I'm not seeing it.
Alain: I once fell in love with a woman who oft I saw in the palace's strategy room. She had such beautiful chestnut hair...
Notte: Yeah, that has nothing to do with retreating.
Alain: My job is retreating. It is an unglamorous role that attracts little positive attention.
Alain: But retreating is not as safe as many assume. Indeed, there was every chance I might one day perish fleeing from the battlefield.
Alain: Thus did I decide to confess my feelings to the chestnut-haired beauty.
Notte: Well, I guess that last part makes a LITTLE bit of sense. Plus, it's always good to confess your love.
Alain: But were she not to share my feelings, it would make things terrifically awkward between us afterward, would it not?
Notte: Nah, everybody gets rejected now and then. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Alain: Ah, were it so simple. Yet love IS war, and all that remains after the initial flame is vast swathes of scorched earth!
Notte: That's...one way to put it?
Alain: My preparations could not have been more flawless...
Alain: For the wheels of my retreat were in motion from the moment my confession began!
Notte: It reeeally sounds like you were overthinking this.
Alain: Yet everything went according to plan. My advances were rejected— but that was the outcome I planned for, so I was able to avoid a broken heart.
Notte: Wait. You went into this EXPECTING to be shot down?
Alain: But that is enough of my sad, sordid tale.
Alain: Please let the commander know that all necessary preparations have been made for our retreat— all he need do is give the order.
Proud to Retreat
Ranzal: We really need to do somethin' about Captain Craven, Euden.
Ranzal: All he does is walk around figurin' out how we're gonna run away.
Euden: I know it's annoying, but he's not doing any real harm. So long as we end up holding our ground, nothing is lost.
Elisanne: But if he keeps this up, our men may think we're truly in need of retreat, which will likely harm morale.
Elisanne: And that will surely affect how we fare in battle.
Elisanne: I think you should have a word with him before it's too late.
Alain: Commander! I've been looking for you!
Alain: The order to retreat must be given at once!
Ranzal: Well, speak of the devil. Whatcha on about now? Oh wait, let me guess— runnin' away!
Ranzal: Everything starts and ends with fleein' for you, don't it? Heck, you'd probably retreat from a stiff breeze!
Alain: I resent that remark, Sir Ranzal!
Alain: Retreat is not something I recommend for fun—it is an action we must undertake in order to secure peace!
Elisanne: In some cases, I agree. However, we press forward in the name of our cause, which is ALSO to achieve peace.
Cleo: Um, guys? What's going on here?
Elisanne: Good day, Cleo. I fear you have walked into the middle of an unpleasant disagreement between allies.
Cleo: Yeah, I figured that much. You need someone to help settle it?
Euden: I think we have just the man to settle it already.
Euden: ...Don't we, Alain?
Alain: Quite so, Commander.
Alain: I quite agree that this is a most unpleasant disagreement. I'm frankly ashamed to have any part in it.
Euden: I also would like nothing more than to retreat from this conversation.
Ranzal: Yeah! I wanna retreat from this, too! ...I mean, in the name'a peace and all that crap.
Elisanne: I have no disagreements on that front.
Elisanne: I also wish to retreat from this disagreement with all haste.
Alain: Everyone wants this to end, yes? In other words, you want me to cease preparing to retreat?
Euden: No one's telling you to cease, Alain. We just want you to retreat from preparing to retreat.
Alain: Ah. Understood, Commander!
Alain: I will retreat from preparing to retreat at once!
Ranzal: Retreat from retreatin', eh? Now there's an idea I never woulda thought of.
Cleo: Are we SURE this is all right?
Cleo: I mean, I feel like we're just tricking the poor guy into doing exactly what we want him to do.
Alain: Oh, it's quite all right. In fact, I've just found myself remembering something of great import...
Alain: The need to retreat arises from the presence of conflict.
Alain: And resolving conflict peacefully is my role in life.
Alain: As such, I believe retreating to be the best course of action here!
Cleo: Um...huh. Well, I guess as long as you're okay with it.
The Ultimate Retreat
Alain: Commander, I've finished refining the ultimate retreat plan.
Euden: You've been working on that?!
Alain: I am always calculating and preparing new plans for battle.
Ranzal: Gah! Give it a rest with the retreatin' thing already!
Elisanne: Indeed, I seem to recall us retreating from your plans to retreat.
Alain: We retreated from that day's retreat only. We did not agree to retreat from the general concept of retreating.
Elisanne: This is becoming very complicated...
Euden: Let's at least listen to what Alain has to say.
Ranzal: *grumble* Yeah, all right, I'll listen. But it better be good!
Ranzal: Otherwise, we're probably gonna retreat from retreatin' again, and I dunno if I can keep all that straight.
Alain: Sir Ranzal? Lady Elisanne? Commander Euden? I propose that we continue our advance.
Ranzal: ...Muh?
Alain: I've heard that the power of this country's Shards is weakening, which puts all its people in grave peril.
Alain: Monsters run rampant o'er the land, and order weakens by the day. These problems will compound, in turn affecting the entire continent.
Alain: My only goal is to stop that from happening and return the land to how it was before.
Alain: To that end, we must press on and advance!
Ranzal: Look, I ain't disagreein', but what about your obsession with retreatin'? It's like Captain Craven has become Captain BRAVEN! ...Heh. Good one, me.
Alain: Oh, this is ABSOLUTELY a retreat. One far more challenging than staging a simple attack.
Elisanne: I will need you to explain this.
Alain: We fight to make this a peaceful land once more, instead of one ridden with conflict and strife.
Alain: So rather than letting the world continue on its current path, we seek to move it back. We seek to make it RETREAT!
Alain: The road to the true peace that awaits after our victory will be a long one, but I swear to guide you all down it— even if it comes at the cost of my own life.
Elisanne: The road to true peace...
Elisanne: And you know this road, do you?
Alain: Naturally. For even if all others be blind, the eyes of Captain Craven see exactly where we should be headed—AND the peace that awaits us once we get there!
Ranzal: Man, I love this guy! Forget walkin' down this road—I'm gonna RUN down the sucker!
Elisanne: Then I have no choice but to accompany you.
Euden: Right then. In the name of peace, Alain...give the order.
Alain: All units...RETREEEEEEEAT!