Orion/Stories

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Revision as of 22:59, 6 October 2018 by >Solecistatic (Added Episodes)
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Quotes


Adventurer Story Episodes

Episode 1

Love Hunter

Orion: H-hello? Let me in, please! They're going to kill me!

Cleo: Who could that be?

Cleo: Sounds like he's in quite the predicament.

Euden: We'd better let him in—we can find out what's going on later.

Orion: *pant* Whew! I thought I was done for...

Euden: What happened? Did you run into fiends or something?

Orion: Something far more terrifying...

Orion: Anyway, thanks for letting me in. You saved my life, friend!

Orion: Ah, but I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? The name's Orion.

Orion: I'm something of a famous bodyguard around these parts.

Orion: I've been out on an escort mission today, in fact.

Euden: Sounds like you ran into trouble.

Orion: Indeed! A truly perilous love captured my heart and trapped it in its claws!

Cleo: Er...love?

Orion: For today's mission, I was entrusted with escorting two stunningly beautiful siblings.

Orion: Alas, before the work was done, I'd fallen head over heels for both of them.

Orion: But who could blame me?

Orion: We were together through good times and bad, facing danger most foul as one... I was doomed from the outset!

Orion: Naturally, not wanting to hurt their delicate maiden hearts, I kept it secret from both of them that I was dating the other.

Orion: But once the escort mission came to an end, the two of them both asked about the future of our relationship at once! Which...did not end well.

Orion: When I truthfully replied that I intended to continue dating both of them, the sisters... Well, they tried to murder me. *cough*

Orion: The words "risking one's life for love" never rang so true!

Cleo: It sounds to me like you're just reaping what you sowed.

Orion: But I never could have imagined that the castle I stumbled upon during my escape would contain such a lovely woman!

Orion: It's a miracle! ...Nay, fate!

Orion: What do you say, O sylvan beauty? Would you care to join me for lunch?

Cleo: Euden?

Cleo: Do you want to throw him back outside, or should I do it?

Euden: I can't throw someone back when there are two women waiting to murder him. ...No matter how much he deserves it.

Orion: Hmm? Oh my! There is a stunning young faerie on your shoulder!

Orion: Never have I cast my eyes upon such a sweet maiden as thee!

Orion: Will you do me the honor of joining me for a cup of tea?

Notte: ......

Orion: You would be more than welcome to join us, my sylvan sweetheart.

Cleo: Out. Now.

Notte: I'll get the catapult.

Orion: You can't! I'll be torn limb from limb by those two stunning beauties outside! ...Which, to be honest, is a pretty good way to go, but—

Euden: Look...Orion, was it?

Euden: If you want, you can stay here until those women get bored and leave.

Orion: I am in your debt!

Episode 2

One Condition

Ranzal: Hey, Euden!

Ranzal: How'd ya manage to get the famous Orion to join up?

Euden: He came to our door, actually.

Euden: But what do you mean by "famous"?

Euden: I wasn't aware you knew him.

Ranzal: Course I know him! Ain't many in my line'a work what don't.

Ranzal: He's a top-class bodyguard.

Ranzal: Guy's never let a target get hurt—not once.

Euden: Wow. I had no idea.

Euden: In that case, I should ask him to guard me.

Ranzal: No, wait! He ain't gonna...

Ranzal: Aaand he's gone.

Ranzal: Well, unless everything I heard about the guy's a lie, he ain't gonna accept...

Euden: Orion, do you have a minute?

Orion: Can it wait?

Orion: I was about to ask Cleo to join me for a little lunch.

Euden: You're not going to have much luck there. She went into town to do the shopping.

Orion: What?! Ugh.

Orion: Well, what of fair Elisanne? Where is she?

Euden: With Cleo. Anyway, getting to the point...

Euden: I'm thinking I need a bodyguard, and I hear you're the best in the business.

Orion: Sorry, but no dice.

Euden: Can I ask why not?

Orion: I have one absolute condition for being someone's bodyguard:

Orion: they have to be a woman.

Orion: I'm grateful that you're letting me stay here—really, I am.

Orion: But that's my one rule, and I won't change it for you or anyone.

Orion: The whole reason I do this job is because it creates romance worth risking my life for.

Euden: So you work as a bodyguard in order to fall in love?

Orion: Yup. That's why I only escort women.

Orion: Not that you're not attractive or anything, but my heart just pulls me in that direction.

Euden: Huh. Well, fair enough.

Euden: If that's how you feel, I won't press it.

Orion: I'm glad you understand.

Orion: Incidentally, are YOU in love right now, Euden?

Euden: I'm afraid I don't have much experience with that sort of thi—

Orion: What a waste! A youth without love is a youth thrown away!

Orion: The end of your life can come at any time.

Orion: So when love takes root in your heart, you should tell the object of your affections straight away.

Orion: That's how I've always handled it.

Euden: I'll bear that in mind.

Orion: As such, I must hurry into town and tell Elisanne and Cleo how I feel!

Episode 3

An Honorable Wound

Cleo: Ahh... Today is such a lovely day.

Cleo: It's so peaceful and calm... This is bliss.

Euden: What brought that on?

Cleo: Orion has been constantly badgering me to the point of near insanity, but today I haven't seen hide nor hair of the man.

Cleo: I'm enjoying this fleeting peace while it lasts.

Euden: That DOES sound annoying. I don't think he's a bad guy all in all, but he sure needs to learn how to take a hint.

Euden: It sounds like he's started taking on new escort jobs again, though.

Euden: So maybe he'll be bothering you less.

Cleo: I certainly hope so.

Cleo: Oh, speak of the devil. He's back.

Orion: I...return...

Euden: Orion, what happened?! You're hurt!

Orion: It's...nothing... I finished...the job...

Orion: There were no proble— GYAAA!

Cleo: I hope you didn't end up incurring another girl's wrath by cheating on her.

Cleo: ...Regardless, let me take a look.

Orion: Th-thanks... Urk!

Cleo: Hmm? This wound doesn't look like it was made by a human.

Cleo: It looks like the kind of damage you'd receive from a fiend's claw.

Orion: Yes. I was escorting a lady when a fiend showed up out of nowhere and made to attack her.

Orion: It was so sudden, I had no choice but to use myself as a shield.

Orion: Call it an honorable wound, I guess, for I have no regrets.

Cleo: You let a fiend attack you head-on?!

Cleo: Unbelievable.

Orion: I didn't have any other option.

Orion: It was the only way to ensure her safety.

Cleo: You truly are mad. You know this, yes?

Cleo: You could have died.

Orion: And what a shame THAT would have been.

Orion: I still haven't managed to get you and Elisanne to have lunch with me!

Orion: But I wanted the lady I was escorting to die even less.

Orion: I can't very well ask a dead woman out on a date, after all.

Cleo: Well, THAT'S grim.

Cleo: Still, I guess you're not all talk about this whole "protection" business.

Cleo: You really are a first-rate bodyguard.

Cleo: ...Even if your motives are pure as the driven slush.

Cleo: I haven't taken you seriously since you arrived here—and have, in fact, said some very unkind things about you.

Cleo: It seems I may have been wrong, and for that, I apologize.

Orion: Hearing that from you makes being hurt like this feel completely worth it.

Orion: So what do you say about getting dinner tonight with just the two of u—

Orion: OWWWW!

Cleo: I'm disinfecting your wound. This is going to hurt—enough that you won't be able to crack wise for a while.

Orion: Gya! Ooof! I really don't think it should hurt quite this mu— AAAAAARGH!

Episode 4

A Common Curse

Orion: Oh, Euden.

Orion: I'm off to take care of another escort job.

Orion: Can I ask you to tell Cleo and Elisanne not to feel too lonely while I'm away?

Euden: Sure, I'll do tha— Hey, wait!

Euden: You're going out on a job? You're not fully healed yet!

Orion: Alas, no. But so long as there are women who need me, I have no choice but to answer their call.

Euden: Any chance I can change your mind?

Orion: No.

Orion: Nothing you can say will sway me when new love awaits!

Euden: I figured as much.

Euden: In that case, I'm coming with you.

Euden: You need someone to watch your back if you're not in prime fighting shape.

Orion: You are a strange one indeed. Most people would be shaking their head at this point.

Orion: This may be the first time I've ever felt thankful toward a man. Ha ha!

Orion: But I suppose I'll take you up on your offer. There's no harm in letting yourself be protected every once in a while.

Euden: ...Whew! We did it.

Euden: Fighting while protecting someone is a lot more tiring than fighting normally.

Orion: Are you all right, my fair maiden?

Village Girl: I'm fine. Thank you soooo much!

Euden: Wow. He's amazing.

Euden: All that fighting, and he's not even out of breath—and still able to try and sweet-talk his charge!

Orion: We're almost at our destination, my lady.

Orion: Once we arrive there, my work will— alas—be done.

Orion: Yet the thought of letting our relationship end as a purely business one pains me so!

Orion: What would you say to a cup of tea with me upon our arrival?

Euden: Heh. He might actually have too much energy for his own good.

Euden: ...Is your work always this hard, Orion?

Orion: Honestly, this is one of the simplest jobs I've done—especially with your help.

Orion: Some of my worst jobs have involved dealing with swarming hordes of fiends, or bandits, or even assassins.

Euden: You can't possibly be THAT obsessed with falling in love.

Orion: Ah, but I am. For you see, I'm afflicted with a curse where I will die if I don't fall in love with my soul mate.

Euden: A...curse?

Orion: And I'm not the only one afflicted by it— indeed, we all are.

Euden: What do you mean?

Orion: Listen well, my friend: A life of never knowing love is no life at all.

Orion: All of us suffer from the same curse as I.

Orion: If we don't fall in love with our destiny, our lives are cursed to not be worth living.

Euden: Part of me sooort of gets that, but I really feel like you're just dodging the question.

Euden: Still, even if you're doing all this because of a curse, the love you feel for them IS genuine, right?

Orion: My feelings are always genuine.

Orion: Enough talking. We should get back.

Orion: The ladies of the castle must be dying to be reunited with me!

Episode 5

Worthy of Protection

Orion: Good morning, Euden! It's a beautiful day, is it not?

Euden: It sure is.

Euden: Er, but can I ask why you've been coming to see me so often lately?

Orion: To be your bodyguard, of course.

Euden: Sorry, I'm confused.

Orion: That's what you wanted, yes?

Euden: Well, yes...

Euden: But I thought you only worked for women?

Orion: That USED to be my policy.

Orion: But you protected me the other day, and I need to return the favor.

Orion: Of course, if one of the lovely ladies of this world needs my aid, that will have to take priority.

Orion: But when there's no such request, I'll be here protecting you.

Euden: ...Really? Well, thanks. That's actually incredibly reassuring.

Orion: You may not be a woman, but you ARE more than worthy of being protected— so I will give this job my all!

Orion: Besides, by protecting you, I am indirectly protecting the women around you.

Euden: Hmm? What do you mean?

Orion: If anything was to happen to you, it would break the hearts of all the women who love you.

Orion: To think of those grieving faces... Ah! That alone is too much to bear!

Euden: The women who...love me? You mean romantically? Because I'm pretty sure there aren't any of those here.

Orion: ...You really haven't noticed?

Orion: You're a pitiful excuse for a man. You know this, right?

Orion: Don't you agree, ladies?

Elisanne: Wh-wh-what are you talking about?! I bear no such feelings toward Euden!

Cleo: I think fondly of him as a friend working toward a shared goal. That is all.

Elisanne: Y-yes! That's it exactly!

Elisanne: Naturally, I think fondly of him in that sense.

Orion: All I was asking was whether the two of you agreed. I wasn't suggesting that you personally had romantic feelings for him.

Orion: What are you getting so flustered about?

Elisanne: I AM NOT FLUSTERED, SIR!

Orion: It boggles the mind: here I am, completely available, and yet the ladies flock to you.

Orion: Yet somehow...I don't feel jealous.

Orion: After spending so much time with you, I've come to realize that you possess a certain charm that I lack.

Orion: After all, you're the first man I've ever felt the need to protect.

Euden: I thought you said you weren't planning on falling in love with any men.

Orion: You really are slow when it comes to these matters! I'm just trying to say that you are more charming than you know.

Orion: No. Never mind. I owe you, but not enough to set you up in a relationship.

Orion: All I want to say is that you can count on me to have your back!

Euden: Heh. If that's all you wanted to say, you could have just said it.

Euden: But don't worry—I've got your back, too.