Curran/Stories

General Stories Misc

Quotes

On Sortied

On Entering a Room

When Quest Begins

Here we go, friends!

You ready? Don't fall behind!

Response to Beginning of a Quest

Looks like this'll be some picnic.

Okay! I've finished my prayers.

When Controlling Character in Quest

When Receiving a Heal

Phew! You saved my life.

Sorry for the trouble. I owe you one.

When Entering a Boss’ Room

Let's put an end to this.

I won't lose to an enemy like this!

Response to Entering a Boss’ Room

Less talking, more doing!

Don't worry, I'm with you.

Upon Getting to Low Health

I don't believe this!

I'LL decide when it's my time to die.

Upon Opening A Chest

Well! That was unexpected.

Nothing suspicious, I hope?

Boss on Low Health

So long, pal. Give Ilia my regards.

Time to turn out the lights on this loser!

Boss Enters Break State

It's too late for repentance!

There we go. Now just hold still!

Rare Enemy Spawns

We can't let this chance pass!

Hey, that one looks rare.

Upon Death

If this is a joke... I'm not laughing...

Looks like my skills have gotten rusty...

Player Uses Damaging Skill

• whistle* Not bad!

Just the kind of skills I'd expect!

When Shape Shifting is Ready

The dragon's tired of waiting.

The dragon's ready to put some pressure on!

Shape Shifting into Dragon

Idle During Quest

If we panic, we lose.

Being impatient and being in a hurry are different things.

Quest Clear

Quest Failure

Home Screen Walking

Heretics, they say...

I've got a bad feeling...

All I want is the truth.

Hmm? We got a case?

Hmm... This requires some investigation.

Well, that's one case all wrapped up.

Home Screen Inside

As inquisitors, it's our job to investigate those who don't uphold Ilia's teachings.

Your opinions may differ from those of the church, but that alone's not heresy in my book.

Being an inquisitor is a tough job. It always starts with doubting someone.

Truth is a fickle kitten. If you're not careful, it'll sneak out the back door.

Heinwald's got a sharp mind, but he can be surprisingly stupid sometimes.

A good man knowth-- Ow! Bit my tongue when I wath about to thay thomething cool.

Home Screen Portrait

Collection Portrait

At The Halidom

Oh hey there, friend.

Heinwald! We've got a case!

Thanks be to the goddess Ilia and...so forth.

Adventurer Story Episodes

Episode 1

Hunter of Heretics

So that's where the auction will be held? From the dark shadows of a back alley, the prince fixes his gaze on a closed store. I can't believe someone is actually going to put a dragon egg up for auction. Who would dare do such a thing?! ...Okay, where's Ranzal? If he doesn't show soon, I might have to go in on my— Hold. Who's there?! It's me, Euden. Curran?! Ilian Church Inquisitor Curran What are you doing here? I take it you're also interested in this building here? You're here for the egg as well? Hey, hunting heretics is what I do. As you know, dragons are sacred creatures to those of us in the Church. Capturing them is an unforgivable sin, and selling their eggs is even worse. That's why I was sent here. You must have caught wind of the same rumor I did. Heh. You'd make a fine inquisitor. Still, maybe it's not the best plan to just charge into this alone. You're probably right. I just heard what was happening and...lost it, I guess. We're both after the same objective here, which means there's only one thing to do. Work together and get the dragon egg back? Exactly! With your help, I know we'll be able to storm any weathers! (Heh. He stumbled over his words again, but I'll pretend I didn't hear it. Let's go!) Next, we have the highlight of the auction! I risked both life and limb to secure this prize from deep beneath Mount Adolla. Allow me to present...an Ifrit egg! Ooooo! You won't find another one of these on the market again, so make your bids and make 'em big! Eeee hee hee hee! Sorry to interrupt the fun, but I need all of you to put your hands up. Who the hell are you?! I'm Curran—an inquisitor with the Church. And I'm pretty sure you aren't just a bunch of chefs looking for omelet ingredients. An inquisitor?! Bah! You'll never catch me! Hold it right there! Fools! You left the back door open! Eeee hee hee hee! Oh, darn, what EVER will I do! ...Heh. See you later! Eee hee! Sooner than you think, actually. What?! You're not getting away! Haaah! Graaaah! Your suggestion to wait at the back exit was a good one, Curran. I've seen more than my share of men like this—they never know when to give up. You damn...cheaters... That's rich coming from a heretic like you! Now I'm taking you lot back to the Church with me. ...That's the last of them handed over. Our mission is done. I'm glad we were able to stop them before the deal could proceed. I can't believe they were actually trying to pass that thing off as an Ifrit egg. It's just a cinder drake egg with some fancy patterns drawn on it! Looks like they were hoping to deceive the bidders and make some fast money. They should have seen right through it; there's no way a low-life coward like that has guts enough to enter the nest of a ferocious dragon like Ifrit. Still, a stolen egg is a stolen egg, and he'll pay dearly for this crime. *sigh* What I wouldn't give for men like that to vanish from this world for good. They never think about the consequences of their actions. I mean, if enough eggs get stolen, the dragons would be furious— and we'd all pay the price for that. I don't think any of us want to imagine what disasters might unfold if they were to get truly angry with us. Which is why I have to nip this stuff in the bud before it gets out of hand— as tedious as the work may be. Well, what do you say to letting us help with that workload? You want to help me? Are you serious? I can't turn a blind eye if people are out there causing harm to dragons. Well, my work doesn't JUST involve dragons, you know. But I respect dragons in all that I do, so in that way, I suppose we are both trying to achieve the same goal. Then... All right. Let's do it. I'm not half the man the bishop is, but I'm no bad guy, either—at least until you're going against the Church's laws. Anyway, glad to have your help.

Episode 2

An Unlikely Partnership

The game is afoot, Heinwald! It's time for an investigation! Surely you jest. Only an idiot would go outside when it's raining this heavily. If you wish to investigate, do it yourself. Seeker of Truth and Curran's Partner Heinwald You do the footwork, and I figure out what your findings mean. Everyone does the task best suited to them—that is how a partnership works, is it not? You love calling me your partner only when it suits you. Now stop grumbling and let's get going already! Please calm down, guys. There's no reason you always have to be arguing. We are calm, Euden. We also happen to disagree. Well, let's put a pin in that for a minute. There's actually something I've been meaning to ask you two for a while. What made you decide to form a team when you're both so...different? Hmm... Oh, I remember now. A few years ago, I was pursuing a heretical mage. But SOMEONE decided to meddle in my investigation—and that is when it all began... Hello there. You're an inquisitor, yes? And you're the mage I've heard so much about! How nice of you to save me the trouble of tracking you down. I'm a scholar of magic, that much is true. But I'm afraid I'm not the heretical mage you're so busily looking for. My name is Heinwald, and I do, in fact, have business with your target. (After introducing himself, he vanished— leaving me DEEPLY suspicious of him. To make it even stranger, it turned out he was actually an Alberian noble. As well as a total weirdo who showed absolutely no interest in anything other than magical research. His appearance seemed to spell nothing but trouble for me. But I girded my loins and continued my investigation nonetheless. And then...) Whew! Well, that was a total pain, but I finally know where he's hiding. You took a very long time to find this place. Hey! I know you! The mage we are searching for is here, I take it? What do you intend to do if he is? Oh, I have no interest in taking him in— or in what happens to him if you do so. I just need to check something. The point is, you and I are not enemies. I'm not so sure about that. But regardless, it's probably safer for me to keep an eye on you until this mess is settled. So come with me—and no funny business! You're very understanding for an inquisitor. It is a fine trait to have. (In the end, we were able to apprehend the mage and drag him from his hideout.) It's over! Give it up and come quietly! And I will be taking THIS, thank you. N-no! My grimoire! Hang on there, sticky fingers. What's that? Now to open the ancient pages and... Well, this was a waste of time. Such a shame. Return my grimoire to me at once! You, stop running your mouth. And YOU, tell me what that book is. This book has a certain spell written in it. One that your Church would likely find most heretical indeed. It is an ancient magic that allows the wielder to use dragon scales and claws to enhance the efficacy of their magic. What?! But alas, this grimoire is but a shoddy copy of the original; the inscription of the most important part is nonsense. And how do you know THAT?! Because I have the correct spell committed to memory. I was hoping the text in this copy would be older, but it was all for naught. Maybe you should take this guy in while you're at it. ...... I was just carrying an old book around, but HE'S memorizing heretic spells! Tell me—how many dragons did you sacrifice while researching that spell? I'll not be lumped into the same category as someone who treats their research subjects as expendable tools. They died noble deaths to aid my research! I gave their pathetic lives meani— Enough! Gah! Well, my work here is finished, so I shall take my leave. I thought you looked suspicious, and now I know for sure. I may not know your endgame here, but I know a heretic when I see one! So you ARE intending to lump me in with this pathetic conjurer. I'm deeply offended. Have you not been listening to a single thing I've said? True, I cannot pretend to perfectly follow the laws of the Church or kingdom... But I CAN promise to never sink to the depths of lowlifes who would sacrifice living things in the name of "research." Ah! You know where to find me, yes? I'm not going to hide or run away. So if you're set on naming me a heretic, you can come for me when you like. ...Wow. That's quite the first date! Yes, I found myself faced with a very tough choice as an inquisitor. Would I brand him a heretic as I had countless others before him? Or would I go against my own rules and accept his argument as truth? That sounds like quite the dilemma. I spent days racking my brain over what to do—and after finally making up my mind, I made my way to his mansion. Hello, Curran. Are you here to clap me in irons and swallow the key? I've been agonizing over what to do ever since we parted ways. Not only am I questioning if you are a heretic, I'm now questioning what a heretic IS in the most general sense! But I've reached a conclusion. While you're THIS close to being a heretic, you're not inherently evil. You just research what interests you and don't hurt anyone in the process. So I'm not going to report you. I'm honored that an inquisitor would think so highly of me. However! If I leave you unwatched, there's no telling what trouble you might get up to. So I'm going to keep you right where I can see you. That's a rather curious compromise. Still, solving riddles has always been a hobby of mine, and I did rather enjoy our little investigation. With an inquisitor like you at my side, I can see myself stumbling onto even more interesting problems in the future. If you're treating this as a game, I have bad news for you. Balderdash! I will be fine. Frankly, you should be far more concerned with holding ME back. I hope you know I'll be working you to the bone. ...So that was the beginning of your partnership, was it? Since then, we've solved all manner of mysteries together. Yep. I do all the thankless hard work of gathering information, while he just sits around and thinks. You make my role sound so insignificant. And yet, you fail to mention all the times you were without a single lead and begging for my assistance. I have NO idea what you're talking about. Can we please not do this again? ...Oh, look! The rain stopped. We've been talking for longer than I knew. Still, I guess that means it's time to go. *sigh* Reluctant as I am, I cannot turn down the prospect of a new mystery. Your eyes DO light up like a kid at Dragonyule whenever you find a new case. So let's get this show on the road. I'm counting on you, partner!

Episode 3

The Goddess's Mercy

A dangerous heretic who abducts children? I'm dealing with a real piece of work. He's clearly the reason why kids have been disappearing from this town. Time to knock him out and take him in before he can claim any more victims. Well, if it isn't Curran. What are you doing here?! Work. I've taken on an urgent request. You're not sticking your head into trouble again, are you? I'll not share details of my job with you. I have a duty to protect my clients' privacy. (Ugh, he never changes. But this time, I'm gonna REALLY stun him with what I can do.) You know, I'm actually working on a case right now as well. Oh? And what would that be? If you're gonna give me the confidentiality excuse, I'll also keep my own counsel. Then I shall ask no more. But on that subject, what do you say we compete to see who can solve their case first? Loser has to do one thing the winner says. Sound good? I did not come here to compete with you. And yet, I can't say I have no interest in seeing you beg for mercy. That's a pretty cocky attitude to be taking before we've even started, bub. You're gonna live to regret it! I haven't even agreed to this madness. Honestly, you are incorrigible. Several days later... Through his investigation, Curran determined the location of one of the kidnapped children. Hey! You're safe now. I'm here for yo— I have come to rescue you, small one. Now let us be off. Hey! What are YOU doing here?! Ah ha ha! It seems our requests were surprisingly similar. But that is not what matters right now. Come with me, young man—you have nothing to fear now. You're lying! You're one of THEM! Look how weird you're dressed! You should never judge someone by their appearance, young one. You might have smarts when it comes to solving cases, but you're TERRIBLE when it comes to handling kids. Logic's not gonna get you anywhere with them. Allow me. ...Very well. Don't be afraid, kid. More bad guys?! Go away! Hey, I'm no bad guy. I'm with the Church. And unlike Doctor Weirdo over there, I actually dressed the part. See the ring attached to my outfit? It's called the Halo. You've seen priests with it before, right? Hey, yeah! So you're really with the Church, mister? Sure am—and while this guy might have suspicious written all over him, he's actually one of my lackeys. How dare you. So now we're on the same page, I know there are more kidnapping victims. Can you tell us anything about who took you? I've never seen him before. He said he'd give us food, so we all followed him—then we got locked in here. After a while, he took the other kids out to the edge of town. (That area has a bunch of deserted houses, so it would be the perfect stash spot.) How come you got left behind? I'm small, so I hid under the desk. The others didn't tell. Thanks for telling me all this. Now hurry home, all right? Leave the rest to us! Okay. Thanks, mister! Hmph. I suppose one can't beat a man of the cloth for tasks like these. Aw, you're gonna make me blush. Anyway, it's time for the big finale. Gimme a hand, Heinwald! Very well. This way no one can say I still owe you one. Eee hee hee! I've got everything I need to begin my experiment—it's time to get down to work. You're going to feel like you've all gone to heaven! Eee hee hee! You're not gonna be laying a FINGER on those kids, scum! What?! I'm with the Ilian Church! Now give up before this gets ugly! How did you find this place?! Heinwald, take care of the kids! I'll handle this guy! Understood. I'll leave the combat to you. Good luck. I make my own luck. Now get going! Raaaaagh! I've got him, Heinwald! And I rescued all of the children. It appears our task is complete. I'm hoping you remember our little wager. Since I caught the guy I was after, that means I win! Oh? I believe I finished my task slightly before you completed yours. ...What? ...... Wait. Was the job you were working on... Saving one of the abducted children, yes. This girl, in point of fact. She's from a poor family, so no one was ever going to search for her. By coincidence I became acquainted with her parents, and they begged me for help. Wait, so I lost? Damn it! Fiiine! Just...tell me what to do. No. As I was only able to rescue her thanks to your valiant efforts, we shall call this your victory. Nope! I'm not going back on my word. You finished your job first—you win. I never even officially agreed to compete. To be honest, I couldn't care less about this whole absurd contest. ...But very well. There is one thing you could do for me. Unfortunately, these children see me as just another heretic. ...Observe. Come along now, little one. Oy! Stay back, you! ...Urk. Well, sure, they do seem a little wary. But that's no surprise after all they've been through. That's why I need you to do what you did earlier and calm them. Just look smug and talk about the goddess's infinite love or...whatever you do. I'm not some kind of orphanage helper, you know. I calmed the kid earlier without thinking, but I'm no saint—my hands are stained with the blood of heretics. How's a monster like me supposed to preach about the goddess's infinite love? Is the goddess you worship so heartless that she can't even save a few children? ...You've got me there. Accept the inevitable: You are the only one who can do the goddess's work here. *sniff* *sob* ...Bah. I guess sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. Listen up, everyone. My name's Curran, and I'm with the Ilian Church. Cor! Yer a liar, so ya is! Church people all wear white! You can't fool us! Ack... W-well, have a look at this Halo! All of Ilia's followers carry one! Never heard of it! Same plan won't work twice, huh? All right, just hear me out. My job is beating up bad guys in the goddess's place. That's why my outfit is a different color. That's why I dealt with the nasty guy who kidnapped you. And I won't let anyone else harm you. Will you at least believe that? The Church beats up bad people? I thought it was just about praying. The Church has all kinds of people in it. Some heal the sick and injured, while some give food to the hungry. You mean them nice folks what hand out the soup! Exactly. You see, the goddess is always protecting you—sometimes with kindness, and other times with strength. So if you ever find yourself in a scary situation again, just pray. If you do, someone really strong like me will come and save you. On Ilia's orders. Blimey! The Goddess would do all that?! She sure would. This world is filled with her love—so whenever you need help, just rely on the Church. Then your future will be filled with joy and haminess! Ha ha! He talks funny! Said it all wrong, 'e did! Bah. I had to trip on the last hurdle. All right, that's enough fun for one day. Let's get you all home. Okay! Bless you, sir. Bless you! That was quite the speech. You don't need to flatter me. I'm not suited to this stuff; I feel all weird now. There's no harm in you taking some time away from fighting to talk about Ilia's love for children, surely? I can decide how to spend my own time, thanks. I'm just better suited to beating up bad guys than praying. Talking about love can wait until all the world's evils are dead. Until then, I've still got work to do.

Episode 4

False Wings

La la laaa... ♪ You're in high spirits today, Cleo. What's that in your hand? It is an ornamental bird. It's a very famous sort of good luck charm that I was fortunate enough to find in town earlier while I was shopping. A priest makes them by hand, so they sell out very quickly. Birds are a symbol of the Ilian Church, right? Don't the wings symbolize how it delivers prayers to the goddess? That's right. Supposedly if you leave it near a window and let it bathe in the moonlight, you will have good luck. Heh. Sounds like someone in the Church is getting rich off these babies. How could you say such a thing?! Good luck will never find you if that is your mindset. Don't you worry—I never skip my morning or evening prayers; I've got the goddess's blessings in spades. *sigh* Must you always be so obnoxious? Euden, I shall pray tonight for your happiness as well. I hope your prayers reach the goddess. That night... Fire! Someone, help! There's a fire! Are you okay, Cleo?! I'm fine, but a fire just broke out near the window! Stay back! I'll put it out! *pant* *pant* Okay, we're good. I'm glad we stopped it from spreading. But why would a fire start here in the first place? Hmm? That looks like... Euden! Come here! That sounds like Curran... What's wrong, Curran? Looks like we got ourselves a rat. But don't worry—I've got 'em! Ow ow ow! Sorry I didn't help with the fire by the way, but I had my hands full chasing down this scumbag. Now tell us what you know, pal! What's your business here?! Hmph. Oh, you're gonna talk, my friend. One way or another. You're trespassing in a prince's castle that happens to be short of decorations. I'm thinking your head on a pike would be a great place to start... Cor, I gots no interest in the castle! I swears it! Then talk before I pull out your tongue and use it to make up my own story! I was just told to follow whoever bought that bird ornament! Then if trouble broke out, I was s'posed to steal whatever ain't nailed down. It's just a job, I swears it! IF trouble broke out, is it? So the fire wasn't your doing? That's right! If nothing happened, I was s'posed to come back, I was. Who gave you this job? Just some hoodlum type what I met wanderin' around town. Said a merchant of some kind asked him to find a guy what wasn't afraid to dirty up his hands a little, yeah? This is getting more confusing by the minute. What should we do, Curran? For starters, I'm gonna take this guy into town in the morning and turn him in. While I'm there, I'll look into his story, and... Hmm? What's that black lump you're holding, Euden? It looks like that fire started with this ornament Cleo bought. I felt so fortunate when I found it, too. A charred ornament and a suspicious burglar? This is really getting fishy. In the morning, Curran took the burglar into town to hand him over. After doing so, he began asking around and discovered that similar crimes had been happening elsewhere. In the dead of night, fire would break out, then valuables would disappear in the ensuing chaos. Furthermore, a charred ornament would always be found at the scene of the fire. ...So that's the gist of what's been going down around town. Then the ornament I bought is a fake sold by thieves? Yep. Since the genuine ones are so rare, the counterfeit market has exploded. And some of them—like the one Cleo purchased—seem to be rather dangerous. The sellers tell people they bring good luck when you put 'em in moonlight. But they're actually designed to ignite once that moonlight hits 'em. Then they hire a hoodlum to follow the buyer home and steal what they can while the owners are occupied. How could anyone take advantage of people simply praying for the happiness of others like this? We have to put a stop to this. If this was just a standard counterfeiting ring, it wouldn't be my business. But they're doing this on the back of the Church, which is a whole different story. Then let's work together to stop them! Later, at the hideout of the merchant selling the counterfeit ornaments... What are you doing, you fool?! Hurry up and kill those meddlers already! I can't! They're too strong! But there's only THREE of them! You haven't seen these guys in action! Especially the one with an axe who— Stay where you are, friends! ...The hell are you? Just a passing inquisitor—and I'll thank you to keep my name out of your mouth. You've been causing mischief with a symbol of the Church, but that ends here! Aaaah ha ha ha! Mischief? Hardly! I merely sell people what they want. They have only themselves to blame if their own greed blinds them to the danger. Can it, scumbag! Sure, you sold people fakes and they didn't realize it... But the prayers people wanted them to carry were as real as can be! You abused their hopes and dreams, and you're going to pay for it. I'm going to mete out your punishment here and now... So if you want to beg for mercy, do it to your counterfeit goods! Maybe the goddess will hear you. You're all hat and no cattle, friend. If it's a fight you want...you'll have it. Time to bring the judgment, guys. Right! Raaaagh! Thus were the thieves punished at Curran's hands. Several days later... I'm sorry for all you went through, Cleo, but I appreciate all of your help—so I brought a little something for you. A...bird ornament? Is this one real? Real as can be. It's a token of thanks from a local church. But I have no need of it. So this is what a real one looks like... Thank you, Curran. It seems I have another soul to add to my list of prayers. Told you I was covered for prayers, remember? See you later, then. Ornaments are inanimate objects. You can pray to them all you like, but they don't deliver anything. Real or fake, that's not gonna change. ...Not that there's any harm in it. If entrusting their prayers to a statue helps folks, then I say, let 'em pray.

Episode 5

Proof of Faith

In a squalid, deserted back alley, a man vanishes through a hidden door. Meanwhile, Curran and Heinwald watch his progress with extreme interest. ...That's four of them now. Now we merely need their leader. I imagine he will arrive last; he's a clever one, and no mistake. That's why it's taken us so long to get a lead on this lot. But we've finally got them cornered— this is the day we catch these scumbags! The Church has certainly been thorough in its pursuit of these people. But I should expect no less, seeing as they are a group of anti-dragon heretics. You don't know the half of it—they've been attacking dragons everywhere! It's gotten so bad, the dragons have started lashing out at nearby villages. That is likely the group's primary goal. They seek to paint a picture of dragons as harmful, dangerous creatures. Is all of this why you chose not to summon Euden? Pretty much. If he knew about this, I couldn't stop him from helping. But he's got bigger fish to fry. We can handle lowlifes like this ourselves. After all, if you spend your whole life looking down, you never see the spars! (...Ah, so close.) Well, while we wait for our man, perhaps we can pass the time with conversation. Tell me, what is the Goddess to you? I appreciate that you're bored, Heinwald, but I have no idea what that means. It is a simple question. Exactly what is the nature of this deity your Church worships? And if she really exists, why does she not handle heretics such as this herself? That's a pretty lame question, but hey, I'll bite. The Goddess doesn't have time to deal with every worthless lump in this world. She miraculously saved the world from a great evil, and we all owe her our thanks. Now she protects the entire world, which means she doesn't have the time to go after penny-ante chumps like this. I suppose her adherents would believe that she saved the world. ...Because she DID. And yet, I find the argument of the heretics we're pursuing equally interesting. They claim dragons founded the Church so they might position themselves as supreme beings. To achieve this goal, they needed a figure to capture people's hearts and rally them around this new religion. That figure is the Goddess—which means your Church is merely a cog in a scheme of world domination hatched by dragons. You've got real guts to be saying that in front of an inquisitor. If I heard that from anyone else, I'd introduce my axe to their face. You may stay your righteous killing hand; I do not believe this theory. O, Goddess! Bring your smiting judgment down upon this shameless non-believer! ...Besides, if that crazy theory was true, dragons would be ruling over us right now. But they DON'T, so it ISN'T. It seems nothing I say can chip away at the rock that is your faith. Nope. After all, I only became an inquisitor to show the Goddess's power to the world. Still, if I was to play devil's advocate for a moment... Mmm? Let's pretend for a second that the Goddess doesn't exist. That doesn't change the fact that the Church—and all those who serve it— are continuing to help people. We don't need her to do anything else; the world is already filled with her love. The Church will continue to uphold her teachings and help those in need. And that is truly all the proof you require for her existence? Right. Even so, there's no end of folks who turn their backs on the goddess's salvation and think only of themselves. So it's my job to send those fools to her with my own two hands. That's why I'm proud to be an inquisitor of the Church. That's all the truth I need. An answer befitting you indeed. ...Ah, look there. I believe our missing man has arrived. Time to start the party! Which is good, because I'm tired of your absurd questions. No amount of sophistry is going to bring the Goddess' judgment down on these freaks! Then—dare I ask—how exactly does one "bring justice down upon them"? How else? With your FIST! Anyone who opposes the goddess has to deal with me! C'mon, partner! Join the Goddess at my side and let's do this thing!